Law 2: Transform Self-Love into Empathy (The Laws of Human Nature) –By Robert Greene

Amy waq
Mar 25, 2022
3 min read

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUyzeykVwgY

This week I got the chance to read the Law of human nature and used Kolb's reflective model to interpret my understanding of the book.

My Concrete Experience

This is undoubtedly one of the most insightful books I've read on knowing ourselves as people. As someone interested in psychology and the human mind, I like how this book demonstrated how we, as humans, have a natural gift to empathize and connect with others.

I feel we are all narcissists, with some being more so than others. To appropriately employ the gift, we must direct our self-love outward toward others rather than within. We would also do well to spot toxic narcissists before we become engrossed in their drama to our cost.

Reflective Observation of the New Experience

Reflecting back, the people I surrounded myself with in university were not the best influence; I was constantly drained and never truly happy in my friendship, despite spending hours with my friend. This might also be because I was unaware that narcissists surrounded me, and their behavior had rubbed off on me. For example, if I tried to talk about personal or critical matters, my friend would instantly redirect the subject to herself; I also felt obligated to compete or obtain approval for her attention. It seemed more like I was her journal to write in than a friend.

What did the book teach me about my past experiences?

For me, the most meaningful learning was knowing about the two types of narcissists: deep narcissists and healthy narcissists. Deep narcissists take every insult personally and may lash out in fury and revenge. This is because their self-esteem is based on obtaining favorable attention. They also steer every conversation back to themselves. When the subject turns to others, they may feel envious. They may appear overconfident to gain attention, but this is generally a disguise.

The book also highlighted how; healthy narcissists could take care of their own needs without requiring constant attention from others. As a result, the healthy narcissist may concentrate more on work and getting things done. The healthy narcissist may easily switch their attention to others and focus on their own needs. To consider others' perspectives and consider ways to assist others in meeting their needs and desires.

Having learned these concepts, I can now apply this in my place of work and avoid a relationship with a profound narcissist. Some warning flags in a person that I will be on the lookout for include:

• Everything revolves around them.

• Your concerns and desires are secondary.

• They regard you as a means to an end.

• Deep narcissists are quickly provoked and take offense at the slightest statement.

How will I apply my learning in the future?

As a next step, I Aim to transition toward healthy narcissism by acquiring four empathetic skills that I have learned from the book:

Have an empathetic attitude: I will assume nothing about the individual and be genuinely interested in their points of view in my everyday conversations.
Having Visceral empathy: I will Pay attention to how individuals react, such as their facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. Mirroring will help me build a better connection by mimicking their expression style and nodding and smiling while I listen.
Having Analytic Empathy: I would acquire information about the other person to get to know them (e.g., family relationships, values, emotional triggers).
I would use direct/indirect feedback to confirm my assumptions, question people about their

As a result, my long-term objective is to work in the Human Resources department, where I will be dealing with sensitive personnel issues, and I believe this book has helped me grasp how human nature influences our thoughts, feelings, and actions. As a result of my newfound insight, I will now remember three affirmations at work.