Respond not React: Importance of Emotional intelligence: MOOC
- Amy waq
.jpg/v1/fill/w_320,h_320/file.jpg)
- Mar 25, 2022
- 5 min read
"Passionate emotions are dangerous, causing people to act foolishly in fits of anger and exuberance." (Matthews et al., 2012)
Picture this: you have applied to a firm that you are very interested in working for, you attend the interview and ace it, the manager is impressed by you and informs you that you are recruited on the spot. You submit your application, and later on, you discover that you lack a specific document required to progress your application forward.
Well, guess what? That is what happened to me. But more on that later…
This week I undertook a MOOC on emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence can be defined as an individual's ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions (Steptoe-Warren, 2013). Our emotions drive us, and we can drive performance; therefore, having vital emotional intelligence is critical in making rational and clever judgments that benefit us and those around us. For example, how often have you become furious and wanted to yell in frustration? Or when you have had a happy time and burst out laughing? Or a manager has shouted at you, and all you wanted to do was cry? Emotions make us human, but being clouded by emotions may lead to darkness and wrong decisions, so we must understand our feelings, control them, and utilize them rather than react to them.
I was looking forward to getting a part-time job at a well-known cosmetics and beauty firm, and knowing that I had the necessary skills and expertise motivated me. Unfortunately, the application procedure took two weeks, and in that time, I had already informed all my friends and family that I was hired. However, in the end, it did not work out for me, and I discovered that I was no longer qualified for the position due to circumstances beyond my control. Now, I had three options:
Option 1: Cry and bawl my eyes out.
Option 2: Be angry and rage at the recruiting manager.
Option 3: Accept my sadness, do something to make myself feel better, and create a plan for my next job venture.
Unfortunately, I picked option one at the time. So, I went home and grieved and felt awful about my downfall; I blamed myself for events beyond my control and wallowed in my self-pity. Then, when I had to tell my friends and family the truth, I felt humiliated and defeated. It was a massive blow to my self-esteem and dignity as a person at the time. However, despite my misery, my friends and family supported me.
Why did I choose this course?
It has been stated that you can improve your emotional intelligence by being: Able to use those emotions to make decisions and get things done (Foroux, 2017). Experiencing this event made me reflect on how I cope with my emotions and react to them. Taking this MOOC highlighted how I allowed my feelings to dominate me and recommendations on how to change them. As a result, I have significantly developed my understanding of my emotions and consciousness of these processes to grow myself.
The MOOCs went well, but the process of learning has been challenging for me, particularly given my prior unpleasant experiences and inability to manage my emotions.
What did I learn about myself?
In terms of the MOOC and the completed activities, I can confidently state that they were successful. Consequently, I have effectively identified two elements that might inhibit my ability to be Psychologically flexible:
1) Experiential avoidance:
If we suppress our emotions or avoid situations where they might arise, we feel we might be able to reduce the worry and anxiety that these emotions engender (Flaxman & Bond, 2010)
2) Cognitive fusion:
Cognitive fusion is almost the opposite, in that we align so closely with our emotions that we identify ourselves through them. As a result, we respond to thoughts and stories about ourselves literally, and we cannot see ourselves as distinct and separate from what we think about ourselves (Flaxman & Bond, 2010).
Looking back, I subconsciously used cognitive fusion when I did not obtain the job. For example, I labeled myself as 'useless' or 'sad' Rather than admitting these were fleeting feelings or ideas. This is frequently a subconscious mental process, yet it can control behavior. Furthermore, I learned that developing emotional intelligence means becoming more open to and aware of these processes to build ourselves and our practice.
My reflections after the course:
For me, the most meaningful learning arose from studying various new topics and refreshing my memory on issues I was previously aware of. I realized that to be emotionally intelligent, you must have specific skills. The MOOC introduced me to a range of intriguing case studies and articles, and solving them in conversation with other people helped me see alternative points of view. The Mixed Models of Emotional Intelligence by Goleman was one of the psychological case studies I loved reading. Daniel Goleman's work on emotional intelligence (1995) was conducted after Salovey and Meyer's, but Goleman's model is probably more widely known.
Goleman developed a four-aspect mixed model that mirrors this development and draws on both ability and trait emotional intelligence in the following ways:
• self-awareness – we start to identify our emotional states
• self-regulation – we develop the ability to manage our emotions
• social awareness – we develop the ability to assess and influence others' emotions
• social skills – we develop the ability to sustain good interpersonal relationships
Additionally, I have learned that we are born with a general emotional intelligence that determines developing any competencies.
What do I aim to do next?
Having experienced this Mooc, I will work on my psychological flexibility to fully connect to the present moment. As a next step, I need to use my thoughts and feelings without unneeded defense and – depending on the situation persist with or change my behavior in pursuit of values and values-based goals. I will also be using David and Congleton's (2013) Model of emotion regulation and ask myself questions such as:
• Recognise my patterns – what am I stuck on?
• Label my thoughts and emotions – what can I recognize?
• Accept them – what can I admit to and accept as part of me?
• Act on values – how can I move forward in a way that is true to me?
Furthermore, I have learned that emotional intelligence affects many aspects of human existence, allowing people to function with confidence, resilience, drive, and empathy. Therefore, in my future career within Human Resources, I will use emotional intelligence to lead, manage, and cooperate with people while applying EQ to inspire engagement, motivation, retention, and productivity within the workplace.
Want to give this course a try?
REFERENCES:
Flaxman, P. E., & Bond, F. W. (2010). Acceptance and commitment training: Promoting psychological flexibility in the workplace. In R. A. Baer (Ed.), Assessing mindfulness and acceptance processes in clients: Illuminating the theory and practice of change (pp. 281–308). Context Press.
Foroux, D. (2017, December 28). How to improve emotional intelligence. CNBC Make I
Freedman, J. (2005, January 30). Dr Daniel Goleman on the origins of emotional intelligence. Six Seconds
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam Books.
Mayer, J. D., & Salovey, P. (1997). What is emotional intelligence? In P. Salovey & D. J., Sluyter (Eds.), Emotional development and emotional intelligence: Educational implications (pp. 3–31). Basic Books.
Mayer, J. D., Salovey, P., & Caruso, D. R. (2004). Emotional intelligence: Theory, findings and implications. Psychological Enquiry, 15, 197–215.
Steptoe-Warren, G. (2013). Occupational psychology: An applied approach. Pearson.
Comments